Before we dive headfirst into building true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what confidence is.
Confidence is knowing that what you have will later become what you want and make you happier. This is a necessary condition for an idea to become an action.
Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when a big deal comes up, raise your hand when an interesting project comes up, or speak at a conference (and without any anxiety!). Confidence is not a 100% guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps you get out of your comfort zone, expand your boundaries and set a course for success.
Statistics confirm that success has more to do with confidence than competence. So here are five steps to self-confidence.
1. Act confident
As strange as it may sound, to learn to be truly confident, you can first fake confidence. In the wild, some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend too.
Self-hypnosis doesn't work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and real life situation. If these two aspects do not correspond to each other, the brain goes out of control and you begin to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts appear, due to which all self-confidence disappears. So what should we do?
Better prepare for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of a mirror (pay attention to both the tone of your voice and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain " sufficient reason» believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear by itself.
2. Remember that you expect more from yourself than others expect from you.
The good news is that the whole world will believe what you show. Thank God, no one can read your thoughts or know about your fears and anxiety.
The bad news: you can misinterpret any sideways glance, any random word, any reaction of people to your actions, and then worry about this (thought up by you) issue.
In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (don’t get scared ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to engage in self-hypnosis). Try a little experiment: for one week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (exact wording) when you feel a lack of self-confidence.
By simply recording and analyzing your self-talk, you'll be one step closer to reducing and hopefully eliminating these thoughts.
In addition, it is useful to write down and keep on hand a list of your achievements, experiences, events that made you feel important, confident, and understand that your actions are beneficial.
Every time your inner voice gets out of hand, take a three-minute break, pick up a list, and remind yourself how good you can be. Provide your brain with tangible evidence when you need extra reassurance.
3. Monitor your physical condition
I understand that it is a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché did not appear out of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why all successful leaders, without exception, regularly play sports? If you overwork, eat fast food, don't sleep enough, and lead a mostly sedentary lifestyle, it becomes harder to show the world the best version of yourself.
You don't need to train until you drop for several hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing the stairs to the 10th floor can be enough to release endorphins. Start with small changes in your usual lifestyle and gradually get used to them.
Difficulties and, accordingly, stress need to be added to your life in very small portions. It is necessary to trick yourself so that both physical and mental health are in balance.
4. Increase your output, change your internal dialogue
Do you know why most people's communication skills leave much to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their affection, they think about how not to blurt out something stupid and what smart thing to say next. The main reason for this behavior: they were poorly prepared.
It is almost impossible to be truly confident in yourself if you have not prepared enough to show yourself with the best side. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What's stopping them? How can you help them?
If you focus on helping your interlocutor, you will get rid of anxiety and receive the same genuine interest in response.
This method is worth using to promote your services or if you want to make an impression at any event.
Take the time to research materials on the topic and your audience. Every hour spent doing this activity will bring a disproportionately large result. And what happens when you get positive feedback? You guessed it - you will gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.
5. Fail fast, fail often.
The dreaded word that paralyzes even great people and prevents them from achieving success is failure. It especially haunts those who are perfectionists by nature and are chronically afraid of doing something wrong.
But failures happen in our lives, it’s simply inevitable. In fact, if you don't make mistakes, it means you're not learning anything new. Remember Ramit Sethi’s saying more often: “It’s not a failure, it’s a test.”
You're just checking that it won't work. And when you know this, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.
And most importantly: once you come to your senses after another “failure,” you realize that you don’t feel empty. After all, it is these experiences that help you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.
Yes, this is an excellent quality that allows you to evaluate yourself positively but realistically in any situation. As a rule, it is not given to a person from birth, but is cultivated through scrupulous work. However, it is worth noting that self-confidence will not arise miraculously overnight. Desire alone is not enough for this; you have to work hard. Your goal is to understand that you are worthy of respect and love.
How to gain self-confidence in 12 steps
How to gain self-confidence quickly
Psychologists recommend playing sports or enrolling in a dance studio for this. The fact is that sport promotes the synthesis of happiness hormones - endorphins, develops coordination of movements, gracefulness, and has a positive effect on the figure. Together, this helps to increase self-esteem.
How to gain self-confidence with the help of psychological trainings
Now there are a lot of trainings for all occasions. We are interested in trainings personal growth or even a banal pickup line - they teach you to interact effectively with others, accept yourself as you are, and look at the world positively.
How to Gain Confidence While Playing
Role-playing games are now popular and are also an excellent simulator for such purposes. The ideal, perhaps, would be spontaneous theater: it teaches you to show your emotions, express yourself, and behave in various, sometimes completely unpredictable life situations. Even the famous game “Mafia” teaches how to gain self-confidence, since within its framework a person tries on new roles and learns to be natural.
How to gain self-confidence: shock therapy
If you are a person, create stressful situations for yourself that force you to constantly be in the spotlight and interact with strangers. Soon this situation will become familiar to you.
Self-confidence is not a set of skills, but a state of mind that exists in each of us - you just need to discover it in yourself.
Of course, we know that water does not flow under a lying stone, in order to get or change something, you need to do something. In this article, I just want to suggest that you do something that will help you overcome low self-esteem and begin to develop a sense of self-confidence and positive self-perception.
You need to understand that these steps are not a one-time pill, but a process of working on yourself, which will take time and organize your efforts to significantly improve your life. This new way of thinking will change your communication with loved ones and colleagues for the better, make it easier to perceive events, and allow you to stop being mentally “stuck” in difficult situations and evaluate yourself more favorably.
Fifteen steps to self-confidence
1. Break the habit of talking badly about yourself and scolding yourself.Do not attribute negative traits to yourself: “fool”, “stupid”, “bad”, “unlucky”, “incapable”, “disgusting”, etc. To do this, you can make a list of all the curse words that you say to yourself in order to know the “enemy in person” :-). And every time such a word or thought wants to come true, you will remember that you no longer scold yourself.
2. Feelings of guilt and shame are bad companions in life.
They significantly worsen the quality of our lives, slow down our progress, and steal our time and energy. Tell them “stop”, put it off until later. If this is still difficult to do, try to allocate a specific time of day for “suffering,” for example, 30-60 minutes from 18.00 to 18.30. Or as much as you don’t mind spending time on.
3. Honestly identify your strengths and weaknesses.
In this step it will be good to analyze all your achievements starting from childhood and identify those qualities that made these achievements possible. Make a list of these qualities and think about how they can currently help you solve pressing problems.
4. Now you can formulate real goals for your life.
Those. real, and not fictitious or imposed on you by someone, what exactly you want. Despite the fact that it may not seem too grandiose from the perspective of significant others. Formulate a minimum and maximum program. To do this, think and write what is valuable to you in life, what you believe in, how you would like to live.
Our values are the main motivators of our achievements and goals. They “indicate” what is truly important to us, what we are ready to invest in, in what direction to move. Assess where your goals are and determine how you can understand that progress is being made.
5. Stop blaming yourself for everything.
Don't look for the reasons for events in your shortcomings. Believe me, you are not so omnipotent and neither are your shortcomings! :-) Please note that there are physical, social, economic, political and natural aspects of situations that affect you and your life. Remember this every time you feel the urge to take responsibility, for example, for someone’s behavior or... for the tsunami in Thailand :-).
6. Reflect on the fact that any event can be assessed from different points of view!
Objective reality is not at all what each of us individually sees and interprets. What we are used to calling reality is just the result of an agreement between people. An agreement to call things by certain names. A view from this position will allow you to treat people more tolerantly and philosophically, and be more generous towards yourself. Do not label: “this is unfair”, “humiliating”, “this is not how men/women behave”, etc. because of which we like to worry, get angry and torment ourselves.
7. Don't let others criticize you in a personal way.
You have the right to give feedback to the person, explaining that you do not want to continue the conversation in this format. You will not discuss your personal qualities in a negative context. While your actions may be subject to evaluation. Especially when it is constructive criticism, as it can be used for your own benefit.
8. Analyze your past, figure out what led you to your current state of affairs.
Often, as adults, we blame our parents, teachers or someone else for our failures. We hold on to our past and don’t let it go, even though the past no longer exists.
Of course, when we were small and defenseless, many people could and did offend us. Of course, parents and others significant people, often have too strong an impact on the child, suppressing his naturalness and forming a negative attitude towards himself. The consequences of these impacts may not be so easy to cope with.
In these cases, there is a reason to consult a psychologist. But I am writing a self-help technique, so I propose to look at the negative aspects of our past from a different angle. Now that we are adults, we can not look back at our parents and take responsibility for our lives into our own hands.
Now that you are adults, you can make choices about how to live and what to do. Decide what yours will be adulthood. Because now you are strong and big. You can fight back against the offender, physically or psychologically. You haven't been the same for a long time Small child who is so dependent on almighty parents.
You have many available resources: informational (Internet, books, press, trainings, seminars, etc.), physical (autonomy and independence in movement and self-care), human (the opportunity to get help from any specialists, other people), financial (an adult can earn money), temporary (the ability to independently plan your time). And I want you to think about this carefully. And you made your choice as an adult, today you have this opportunity.
9. Notice that some failures are luck.
Thanks to other defeats, you can draw conclusions about false goals, reconsider the concept, and determine whether you are spending your energy in the right direction. And therefore avoid larger disappointments and troubles.
10. You should not put up with circumstances, activities and people that make you feel inferior.
If, despite your efforts to change yourself or them enough to feel confident, you fail, it is better to look for other places and roads. Life is too short to waste it being sad!
11. Start practicing communication.
Communication is the opportunity to exchange energy, emotions and information with completely different people who are different from each other. Imagine that these and other people, just like you, may experience fear and uncertainty, try to help them. Decide what you can give to people and what you want to receive from them. Let others know that you are open to this exchange: smile, compliment, praise, talk.
12. Allow yourself to relax.
Learn to listen to yourself, your desires, feelings, sensations. Regularly allocate time for yourself to be alone with yourself in order to collect your thoughts, hear yourself, and understand yourself better. Take the rule of “Taking care of yourself in small steps”: every morning ask yourself what you want exactly today. It could be the smallest thing, for example, taking a walk, making yourself a nice, tasty sandwich, doing gymnastics, or buying some small thing.
13. Try not to constantly use strategies to avoid failure by protecting your “I”.
Try to challenge and accept the challenge of growing up and moving forward. Being inactive and isolated is not the best choice.
Learn to give feedback to people, say what you like and what you don’t, but do it calmly, specifically and on time. Use “I-statements” without blaming or making claims to others. Do not accumulate resentment, because often their reasons lie in our expectations about the behavior of other people, which are not met.
Think about how realistic your expectations are? Stop fantasizing that others should guess everything themselves, understand and feel everything. The shortest way to get what you want to ask for. But what about the fear that they will refuse? :-) Remember, how many times have you been refused? We just carefully “collect” refusals in a special basket and don’t remember all the other times when we received what we needed. Many people simply don’t ask so as not to be refused. When you have failure statistics, then argue with me!
14. Think about your goals and choose for yourself several serious distant goals, on the way to which you need to achieve smaller and intermediate goals.
Outline what tools and resources you need in order to take these steps and achieve these results. Figure out where you can get these resources, receive them, ask for them, etc., and what needs to be done for this. Cast your net wider and look for different options. Praise yourself for every step you take, because it leads you to your goal. You've done the work and you can be proud of yourself, even if it's just the beginning.
15. Imagine yourself as a person who, having matured, already has a lot of experience.
You have gone through and were able to overcome a huge number of difficulties. You grew up and learned to walk, although it was very difficult. You resisted and persevered in difficult situations, defended yourself, fought, achieved. We graduated from school, having overcome an endless whirlpool of difficult events, conflicting demands, psychological pressure and stress.
You accepted and challenged, drawing on your strengths and capabilities, all the while moving forward. Think about the fact that you are not at all a helpless and weak creature, but an active person who managed to survive and win. And these are not pompous words, because you, starting from the very beginning of your life, supported by the powerful forces of nature, developed and were born, despite the numerous dangers lurking, and therefore won!
When starting to do something new, it is difficult to cover everything at once, so I suggest moving forward progressively but surely, mastering each point slowly, step by step. While giving yourself enough time, calmly and patiently. You can choose the points you want to start with; there is no need to move in chronological order. Taking one or more steps will bring positive change, even sooner than you think. Act by praising yourself for the smallest successes.
Low self-esteem is not the best assistant on the path to success and self-realization. Even after realizing why uncertainty arose, it is not always possible to gain self-confidence. What is this connected with? Most likely with the degree of neglect of such a condition. Like a disease that can be easily treated with early stages and much more difficult if this is not done in time.
So the uncertainty that sits in a person for years, over time, becomes part of his life. Is there a way out of this situation? How to gain self-confidence after many years of being “below the plinth”? First of all, raise your head, open your eyes and start reading this article.
We will not analyze the reasons for lowering self-esteem. After all, recommendations on how to purchase work equally effectively, regardless of why a person has become less confident in his abilities. The reasons are not so important because they are already in the past. Ways that help fix everything are much more important, because the future depends on them.
1. Success diary.
Sometimes, “trying to reach for the stars,” people do not notice life itself, ceasing to enjoy it. For example, if someone had one failure when getting a device on new job, that doesn't mean he hasn't scored dozens of victories elsewhere. Why dwell on failure when there are achievements? Good advice, how to gain self-confidence - start a Success Diary, where you write down all your daily victories. You don’t have to wait for new achievements; you can remember what has already been done and start writing it down, regularly adding new achievements. In those moments when self-esteem begins to suffer and one’s hands give up, it is enough to re-read this diary, reminding oneself of one’s victories.
2. Active lifestyle.
In order for the Success Diary to turn into a real library, it is advisable to accustom yourself to an active lifestyle. Every day gives many opportunities for self-realization. If you don't miss them, it will become obvious how to gain confidence. For example, you can enroll in graphic design courses, successfully complete them, receive a certificate, and thereby increase your self-esteem. Or, go dancing, becoming more confident at discos.
If you don’t want or have the opportunity to spend money, then there are dozens of free activities: all kinds of flash mobs, exhibitions, literary evenings, volunteer projects, social initiatives, etc. It’s enough just to Google posters or announcements of your city. The search engine will instantly return dozens of offers for the near future.
3. Friends and relationships.
The more active a person is, the wider his social circle, the greater the chances of finding company and meeting his love. True friends will always support and come to the rescue, and a life partner will not let you doubt your personal significance. But for them to appear, you need to get off the couch and leave the house. Social media or mobile apps, for all their potential, will never replace relationships and friendships. But some kind of joint project or real hobby will definitely tell you how to gain confidence and find like-minded people.
A person’s hobby is an activity that he or she likes, and accordingly, the desire to engage in it is much stronger than to study or work. If a person does something with interest, then success in this type of activity is much more realistic. Accordingly, this is an excellent option for gaining self-confidence. For example, some office worker, without much career prospects, can be a first-class martial arts instructor. In addition to the purely psychological aspect associated with increased self-esteem, a hobby very often becomes a hobby, gradually providing him with income and recognition.
5. Daily affirmations.
How to gain self-confidence if you have doubts about your capabilities? In addition to working on yourself, it is advisable to practice self-hypnosis - regularly repeating how wonderful and successful we are. This practice is called affirmations - a clear statement that attracts expected changes into a person’s life. For example, it is difficult for someone to get a job because he is not confident in his job. If such a person begins to repeat to himself every morning, looking in the mirror, one simple phrase: “I am very promising, all employers are interested in me, the most best job– mine,” then gradually he himself will believe it. And it provides self-confidence.
6. Attention to your appearance.
An equally important point for men and women. Of course, there are specifics, but being well-groomed, clean and fit is important for everyone. It is absolutely not necessary to spend significant money for this. Clothes can be simple, but neat and tasteful. Expensive gyms can be replaced with a free sports ground or running track in the nearest park. You will see for yourself how much easier it will become to gain self-confidence if you are confident about your appearance.
7. Motivational videos or books.
The Internet is full of all kinds of motivators or success stories that are freely available. Literally everything is explained there. How to gain self-confidence, how to assemble a fusion reactor in the kitchen. Anything. There is even a book “How to control the Universe without attracting the attention of orderlies.” So, instead of another soap opera or highbrow show, you can, for a change, read or watch something inspiring. Who knows, maybe one of these motivators will radically change someone's life, showing the path to success and recognition.
Asking the question “How to gain self-confidence?” - this is very good and correct. A person, at a minimum, realizes that something is wrong in his life and needs to be corrected. This is not something to be ashamed of. It's worse when someone doesn't even realize that their self-esteem is low. If he is regularly told that he deserves more than he gives himself, this is a reason to think about it and make every possible effort to gain self-confidence. After all, adequate self-esteem makes life much easier and allows you to realize yourself to the fullest.
A confident person delights, inspires, and inspires confidence in others. He is able to face his fears and is not afraid to take risks.
He knows that no matter the scale of the obstacles that arise in his path, there will definitely be an opportunity to overcome them.
Confident people tend to see life in a positive light, even when things are going wrong. At such moments, they continue to remain positively charged and respect themselves.
On the other hand, people with low self-esteem and lacking confidence perceive the world as a hostile place and themselves as a victim.
As a result, being in the role of passive observers, they are reluctant to show their abilities and do not show their best side, as a result of which they miss the opportunities that open up and drive themselves into a state of their own powerlessness to change the situation.
All this further reduces their self-esteem and self-confidence, drawing them into an enchanted downward spiral.
Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, although they are closely related.
Self confidence is a concept that is used to describe how you feel about your ability to perform various functions, tasks and roles.
Confident behavior is not about not making mistakes, because they are inevitable, especially if you are doing something new.
Confidence is manifested in self-control and taking purposeful, meaningful actions when various types of errors arise, allowing you to solve problems and.
Lack of confidence can be the result of many factors:
- Fear of the unknown.
- Criticism.
- Dissatisfaction with your appearance.
- Lack of preparation for the emerging situation.
- Lack of necessary skills.
- Previous failures.
Self-confidence, like self-esteem, is not a static concept, and therefore its level can either increase or decrease. At some points in life we may feel more confident than at others.
Your level of confidence can be expressed in many ways: through your behavior, your body language, what and how you say, etc.
Self-esteem- this is your attitude towards yourself, your personality, how you look, what you think about, as well as your own beliefs and achievements. This is the final result of the quality of your life at a particular moment in time, which your body gives out in the form of a corresponding emotion.
People with low self-esteem most often suffer from a lack of confidence, but some with high self-esteem may similarly lack confidence.
The opposite situation is also quite likely, when a person with low self-esteem can be very confident in some areas.
Possible reasons for low self-esteem:
- Dismissive attitude and negative environment.
- Childhood experiences and insufficient parental care.
- Loss of a job or difficulty finding employment.
- Constant stress.
- Physical illness.
- , divorce.
- Physical or sexual abuse.
- Mental problems, .
Signs of confidence and uncertainty
Signs of high self-esteem and self-confidence:
- A confident person does what he thinks is right, even if others criticize him for it.
- Willing to take risks and make extra effort to achieve better results.
- Able to admit his mistakes, thanks to which he improves.
- Does not try to tell everyone about his achievements, thus not trying to attract praise.
- Less tendency to be jealous and control the other person.
- No fear of being vulnerable.
- Ability to set personal boundaries.
- The ability to get rid of unnecessary things: unnecessary situations, people, work.
- Responsibility for your actions and emotions.
Signs of low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence:
- The behavior of an insecure person depends on the opinions of the people around him.
- He is used to staying in his comfort zone, fearing failure and avoiding risk.
- Always tries to hide his mistakes and hopes that he can solve the problem before anyone finds out about them.
- Communicates his merits and merits as often as possible and to as many people as possible.
- Absence .
- Feeling that you are unnecessary or not good enough.
- Inability to make decisions.
- He doesn't like anyone.
- Taking on someone else's guilt.
- Failure to recognize your strengths.
- He considers himself undeserving of happiness.
Why is it important to increase self-esteem and self-confidence?
With sufficient self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, you will feel great about your ability to do what you want to improve the quality of your life.
You will make decisions more easily, guided only by your inner choice. You will be able to try everything you previously avoided, and you will stop letting fear control your destiny.
More success
Self-confidence and high self-esteem are one of the most important keys to success in your career and.
You'll be less likely to get stuck in a dead-end job because you'll be clear about your value, allowing you to find a better deal elsewhere.
When it comes to business, only sufficient self-esteem and self-confidence will allow you to move forward when others give up the fight or twist their fingers at their temples.
Stronger relationships
It is very difficult to have a harmonious relationship when you constantly feel inferior. Ultimately, you will tend to rely too much on your partner, whom you perceive as more confident.
Once you gain confidence and self-esteem, you will be able to be a direct participant in the development of the relationship without being an extra, and you will also fully reveal your personality by investing in the relationship and receiving mostly positive emotions in return.
Life gets easier
When you love and respect yourself and treat yourself with understanding, everything becomes much easier.
You stop making mountains out of molehills. Any problem for you is just another task that requires a solution, or a situation that is not worth your attention.
You stop beating yourself up for mistakes you've made, and stop trying to live up to any standards.
Improved mental health
A negative view of yourself and your capabilities poisons your thinking, leaving you prone to anxiety and depression.
Looking at yourself as a wonderful person will definitely give you a boost of positivity, and will also become a source of flexible and stable psyche.
More internal stability
When you love yourself deeply and sincerely, when you have a high opinion of yourself, there is no need to seek attention and external confirmation of your value from other people.
As a result, you cease to be needy, and your inner vision of yourself becomes independent of what people around you may think or say about you.
Elimination of internal sabotage
Most people's worst enemy is themselves.
Confidence and high self-esteem will allow you to treat yourself as more worthy of good things, achievements and surroundings.
You will strive to get everything indicated with much more motivation. And having become their owner, you will not create obstacles for yourself that could destroy what you have.
More happiness
It's hard to be happy when self-esteem and self-confidence are at zero. In this case, you will feel sad, incapable of anything and in a hopeless situation, unworthy of love and respect, and also undeserving of a wonderful life.
Once you become confident and can improve your self-esteem, you will make the necessary changes to find a way out of the maze of past failures, opening the door to the room of happiness.
Other benefits:
- The ability to function more effectively under stress.
- Developing the ability to influence and persuade others.
- Development and executive skills.
- Positive thinking.
- Increased attractiveness.
- Reducing the flow of negative thoughts.
- More courage and less worry.
- Increased energy and motivation.
How to become confident. Basics
In 1952, the journal Educational Leadership published the article “Self-Confidence for Competence” by Bernice Milburn Moore.
Moore describes confidence as having faith in yourself to overcome life events.
He believes that you become more confident when you become better at what you do.
Self-confidence without competence is as useless as competence without self-confidence.
Bernice Milburn Moore
This idea can be represented as a system:
- Improving skills.
- Using them in practice.
- Evaluation of results.
- Increased self-confidence.
- Repetition.
What skills should you develop in yourself? It all depends on your goals that you are pursuing at the moment.
However, there are some universal skills that every person should improve:
- Discipline.
Stop listening to the whiner in your head. Don’t listen when he says: “Then you’ll make your bed,” “Sleep another hour,” “Go to the gym next week.” - Communication.
Effective communication is an art that affects your ability to interact with your environment. Therefore, if you think that you are a professional in this field without ever thinking about how to communicate with people, you are deeply mistaken. - Negotiation.
You negotiate all the time. With your own, with children, parents, teachers, friends, colleagues and many others. So learn to work out the best offer for all parties. - Problem solving.
The modern education system, based on grades and the concepts of “good” and “bad,” turns young people into cogs necessary for the social mechanism. As a result, most people are so accustomed to following orders from others that they themselves are not prepared to solve problems in difficult situations. However, the world is changing, and the winner is the one who copes better with overcoming completely different problems. - Health and appearance.
Feeling good and looking attractive is a great way to invest your time and attention. Being in good physical shape and having an attractive appearance will definitely improve your self-esteem and become more confident.
How to become confident and increase self-esteem
1. Know yourself
Know your enemy and know yourself, and you can fight a thousand battles without defeat.
Sun Tzu
Before the start of a battle, a wise commander tries to get to know his enemy as best as possible. And when you try to increase your self-esteem and become confident, your worst enemy appears on your path - you yourself.
To get to know yourself better, listen to your thoughts and analyze why they have negative connotations.
Then reflect on your strengths, your abilities, and what you like.
Make two lists, one of which will include your strengths, the second - your weaknesses.
Think about your limiting factors. Determine if they are truly objective, or if they are simply the result of your mind playing tricks.
Remind yourself that despite your challenges, you are a unique, special and valuable person who deserves the best.
After all, you are a miracle of consciousness, the consciousness of the universe. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts about yourself, such as “I'm a failure” or “No one loves me.”
It doesn't matter how you feel about yourself now. All that matters is what you want to become. So look as deep inside yourself as possible and you will become more confident.
2. Positive thinking
Every person's mind likes to whisper: “This is too difficult. Stop and go watch TV.”
Instead of indulging such thoughts, treat them as erroneous phenomena, carefully identifying each of them.
When you catch such a thought, destroy it by replacing it with a positive belief with the opposite meaning: “Keep going, you can do it. There is very little left.”
3. Affirmative action
You are what you do. So if you change your actions, you can change yourself.
Act in a positive way, talk to people in a positive manner, use your energy and you will soon notice the difference.
4. Focus on your strengths
If you keep focusing on your shortcomings, sooner or later you will lose a lot of your self-confidence.
Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths.
Maybe you could become a great speaker, a great cook, or a great businessman.
Take a look at the different areas of your life and you may see yourself as a person of great value.
5. Body language
Confident people have a different style of nonverbal communication.
They walk with their back straight, keep their heads straight, look into the eyes of those around them and do not suffer from the presence of unnecessary movements.
Therefore, to increase your self-esteem and become confident, adopt the body language of confident people.
6. Slow speech
It is a fact. Confident people speak slowly.
A person who thinks that no one will want to listen to him will speak quickly, because he considers himself and his speech unworthy of waiting.
Try speaking more slowly than usual, which will make you feel more confident.
7. Speak loudly enough
Shy people tend to speak quietly or mumble because they don't want to draw attention to themselves.
Confident people are not afraid to be the center of attention, and try to convey information to all listeners with maximum efficiency, so they speak loudly, clearly and clearly.
8. Smile
Banality? But it works.
You will feel a boost of confidence when you start smiling at other people. A great investment of your time and energy.
9. Get in the front row
When you attend large events, do you rush to get a front row seat, or are you more likely to head to the back?
Many people are accustomed to hiding behind others so as not to risk being invited on stage or being asked to answer a question.
But think about it, who usually sits in the front row at all formal meetings of any company? Who takes first place at fashion shows? Of course the most important people.
Being in the front row puts you on the same level as the VIPs. You signal to others that you are one of the most important guests and can demand to be treated as such. You will also notice that you will begin to act like a VIP invitee.
You put yourself in the spotlight, going beyond your comfort zone, so you have no choice but to become confident.
10. Improve your skills
This has already been said earlier, but it is worth adding that you should start with small steps.
If you, for example, want to become a professional writer, don’t try to figure out all the intricacies of the profession at once. Just start writing, and then write more.
11. Set a small goal and achieve it
People want to reach for the stars by the end of the month, and when they fail, there is extreme surprise on their faces.
Set an achievable goal and then work towards it, resulting in satisfaction. Then set and achieve your next goal.
Soon you will prepare yourself to conquer higher peaks.
12. Change a small habit
To begin with, aim not at something as large as quitting smoking, but something less significant. For example, waking up 10 minutes earlier or drinking a glass of water when you wake up.
Repeat the strengthening for a month. When a new habit becomes an integral part of your life, you will become more confident and your self-esteem will increase.
13. Focus on solving the problem
If you are used to complaining about life, immersing yourself in negative emotions and focusing on problems, simply shift your focus.
Focus not on the problem, but on the solution. And this is one of the best ways to become confident and increase self-esteem.
“I'm fat and lazy.” How do you solve this? “The thing is, I can’t.” And how do you solve this? “But I have no energy.” So what's the solution?
14. Do something you've been putting off for a long time.
What's lurking on your to-do list, determined to hide there forever? Complete this task tomorrow and rid yourself of memories of it.
You will feel lightness and satisfaction with the result.
15. Be active and try new things
Doing something is almost always better than doing nothing.
Of course, this something can lead to mistakes, but they are just part of your life.
This is the only way you can learn something new and become a better version of yourself over time, so don't worry.
Just do something. Get out of your boring routine and click on your activity switch, taking steps towards achieving a goal.
16. Focus on the parts of the larger whole.
Trying to complete a major project or challenging task can seem overwhelming and daunting, even to the most confident of people.
Instead, learn to break down complex tasks into their component elements and implement each of them in turn, one after the other.
Achievement will allow you to receive a charge of positive emotions and bring you closer to the realization of everything you have planned.
Learn to work like this all the time, and you will soon become the standard of confidence.
17. Avoid perfectionism
If you strive for perfection, you risk disappointment. You can always improve, but you can't be perfect.
Stop trying to do everything perfectly. Accept that nothing needs to be perfect to be considered beautiful. Therefore, there is no need for you to be perfect.
Show greater tolerance for your own mistakes and shortcomings, because they do not detract from your talents and strengths as a person.
18. Use criticism as a learning tool
Everyone looks at the world with their own point of view. What works for one person may not work for another.
Criticism is just someone else's opinion that you can use as feedback.
Deal with criticism constructively, without reacting to it defensively or allowing it to affect your self-esteem.
Calmly accept criticism and, once you are convinced of its validity, use it as a way to learn and improve.
19. Make your place clean, comfortable and attractive
Even if you just wash the windows or water the plants, you will feel much better.
Also, declutter your desk. It may seem like a small thing, but such a simple action can work wonders.
If your desk is starting to feel cluttered and the world around you is falling into chaos, tidying up your desk is a great way to take control of the situation.
Eventually you will experience a sense of calm in the center of the storm around you.
20. Take care of your appearance
Personal hygiene, a fashionable haircut, being neat and stylish have always been and will forever remain allies of high self-esteem and self-confidence.
21. Sound sleep and healthy eating
Make sure you get enough sleep to get enough sleep and try to eat foods that help your health thrive.
22. Exercise
A healthy body has high self-esteem and self-confidence. Train regularly, despite the possible “I don’t want to” or bad weather.
Physical activity helps improve your mood, internal energy, performance, reduce levels and maintain your body weight at an optimal level.
23. Gaining knowledge
By improving your awareness, you become not only intellectually developed, but also more self-confident.
If you are the owner higher education, there is no need to give up on your knowledge.
Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, you can find a lot of literature for every taste. Therefore, develop not only the body, but also the mind.
24. Prepare as best you can
If an important event is coming up in your life, take the time to thoroughly prepare for it. Once you have done everything you can to be as prepared as possible, trust the outcome.
For example, if you have an important business meeting coming up or you are submitting an application, think about the possible questions you might be asked that you might want to voice. Only after the preparatory stage go to a meeting or interview.
Plan and manage life situations, as much as possible. You will feel confident knowing that you have taken the preparatory steps.
25. Do what you like
Treat yourself to something you love so much or are so passionate about doing.
Drink a mug of coffee, make yourself a parachute jump, or sign up for a course that interests you.
Also, remember to celebrate your achievements, whatever they may be.
26. Develop a positive environment
It is important to build a network of family, friends, colleagues and other confident people who support you and your efforts.
This does not mean that they will never give constructive feedback, but even this behavior will be based on a sincere desire for your success.
Tell your friends or family about your worries and ask them for advice and support. Perhaps they have similar problems.
Don't be too shy or reserved: most people close to you really want your well-being and want to help.
27. Meet other people
When you are at an event surrounded by a large number of people, do not depend on the presence of your acquaintances. Go and talk to strangers.
It is no secret that only self-confident people have the ability to make acquaintances.
28. Get rid of harmful people, places and habits
Why would you waste your time, energy and emotions on people who will not appreciate it and will not offer anything in return except for the unpleasant aftertaste that is the result of joint communication.
And the point is not that there is nothing to take from them. They simply will not be able to understand you, because they have a completely different level of development, as a rule, a lower one, to which they will try to lower you.
The same goes for the places you can visit and your habits. If they do not contribute to your development, get rid of them as unnecessary trash.
Stop fighting what you don't like in your life. Just eliminate everything unnecessary.
29. Stop comparing yourself to other people
If you compare your appearance and personality traits to others, the inevitable result will be a loss of self-confidence and decreased self-esteem.
Every day you come across people around you, their photographs in in social networks and the various statuses of their hectic life.
It may seem to you that they are doing much better than you, and that they are simply better than you.
One way to increase your self-esteem and confidence is to stop comparing and spend less time on social media.
30. Stop trying to impress others.
Stop playing different roles and adapting to the expectations of those around you.
If you are able to bring authenticity into your life, you will be surprised how positively others will respond to you.
31. Learn to say “No”
Do not express agreement just because you do not want conflict or misunderstanding to arise. You can politely decline requests without ever having to come up with an excuse.
Saying “Yes” all the time will make you feel useful and needed, but will ultimately burn yourself out.
To keep your energy at optimal levels, be sure to refrain from wasting time and energy.
If you already have plans, then you have the right to refuse everyone else. Not only will you save yourself a lot of problems, but you will also be able to earn respect.
32. Be grateful for who you are
Many people complain about themselves, declaring the desire to have missing qualities or skills, while doing nothing to change for the better.
Instead, take time to be grateful for who you are.
In reality, you have many wonderful qualities, and it is much more effective to focus on improving them.
33. Goodwill
It may sound cliché, but being friendly has a powerful impact on your self-confidence.
If you are always selfish, angry and dissatisfied, you will find that your self-esteem falls rather than rises.
It is important for you to be kind to others because it will give you a boost of positive energy.
Generosity, kindness and compassion are the lot of strong people.
34. Evaluate your achievements
Confidence depends on the internal awareness of the level of one’s own success.
But if you are not seeing success in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low. So how can you believe that you are successful?
Regardless of where you are now, you have achieved much more than you ever thought possible.
You tend to look to the future and constantly compare yourself to the better version you want to become.
You look into a future where your ideal self has a lot of money, a happy family and a beautiful home. Then you evaluate yourself today and feel depressed.
But you rarely look back and forget to compare your current self with who you were a few years ago.
You very often forget how long a path has already been traveled, how much is already behind you, and what has already been achieved at the moment.
35. Don't think you can't become confident
There are already many things in your life that you do with natural confidence. You just need to notice them and understand what it means to be confident.
Think about what it's like to brush your teeth, walk in the park, or talk to a close friend. You do all this confidently and completely naturally.
Transfer your hidden sense of confidence to those areas where you think it is lacking.