For a small child, parents know and can do everything. Therefore, with all questions, he goes, of course, to them. And this is very good, try to keep it that way always. So with the question of his birth, the child goes to his parents. A simple childish question can puzzle parents. How do you explain to a child where babies come from?

No taboo

The first thing to do is to remove the taboo from the topic. This is what child psychologists say. The child has the right to ask such tricky questions. In some families, parents dodge or strictly forbid talking about these topics. The child is forced to look for answers to his questions from others.

The baby begins to notice the differences between the sexes at about three years of age. He becomes interested in the difference between boys and girls, uncles and aunts. At this age, the child may also be interested in the issue of having children, he begins to pester parents with “uncomfortable” questions, and you will face the problem of how to tell the baby where children come from.

How to tell a child where babies come from

It is necessary to talk about the differences between the sexes, about the conception and birth of a child in a language accessible to the child, without overloading it with unnecessary details.

For a kid under five years old, the answer is enough that the child grows in his mother's tummy.

Getting older, the child, of course, will be interested in how mysteriously he ended up in his mother's tummy. Now you can tell that dad gives mom a seed from which a child grows.

Answers should be understandable to the child and truthful. Prepare in advance for this conversation.

Now on sale there are picture books in which, in an accessible and understandable form, they tell the child how children are born. If you can’t find the words and answer the child’s questions in any way, then buy such a book. Be sure to read it with your child so that you can clearly answer all the questions.

By adolescence, the child should know the anatomical and physiological features of the difference between the sexes and the birth of children.

7 mistakes to avoid

1. Refusal to answer.

Even if the questions of the baby confuse you, you should not evade the answer. Take a time out, think over your explanations, consult a psychologist or purchase a children's encyclopedia of relevant topics. The child should not feel guilty and abandoned, left alone with his questions. His curiosity is completely natural and is associated with development, the need to know the world and himself in this world.

Do not bombard the child with scientific terms and present the whole process as purely mechanical. In medical reference books there is not a word about feelings, desires, emotions, pleasure. Children do not expect such exhaustive, dry and complex explanations from you at all. The child needs to receive an answer in a simple and accessible form, formulated specifically for him, to hear your words, and not an impersonal text.

3. The child is enlightened by the parent of the opposite sex.

When a child asks questions about sex life, it is best if they are answered by a parent of the same sex. If this is not possible, it may be some kind of confidant of his gender.

Why? When a child begins to realize his gender, then, as a rule, girls identify themselves with their mother, and boys with their father. This mechanism helps children in the future to correctly position themselves in society as a man or woman. And it will be much more convenient for a child, especially when he gets older, to turn to a parent of the same sex with intimate questions.

4. Do not explain anything if the child does not ask questions.

A child may not talk about a sexual topic, not because he is not interested. On the contrary, his interest may be too strong and disturbing, he may feel embarrassed, which prevents him from asking questions that concern him.

Often the child does not ask questions when he feels the reluctance of adults to talk to him on such serious topics. It is important to remember that a child aged 3-5 needs to be talked to about life, love and death.

5. Forcing events.

It is undesirable to tell the child about what he is not yet ready to perceive and understand. Until the age of two, you do not need to start talking about your sex life. This is the age for other questions, because the child is just beginning to navigate the world and human relationships.

6. Touch too complex and serious topics.

Talking about the birth of a child, you should not describe the details and talk about the pain and difficulties associated with childbirth. There is no need to explain to the child what is C-section. Also, you do not need to delve into what is associated with sexual intercourse: erection, postures, etc. It will be enough for your child to know that he was born because mom and dad fell in love, and that the doctor helped mom during childbirth.

7. Avoiding topics of sexual violence.

It is absolutely necessary to warn the child about possible dangers, of course, without terrible details and intimidation. The child should know that you can not go anywhere with strangers, even if they are affectionate with him and offer sweets. Be sure to tell the baby that his body belongs only to him and no one has the right to touch him.

Tell the child that if someone touched him, it should not be a secret, you must definitely tell your parents about it.

Remember that with all questions the child should go to you and if you forbid him or not to answer, he will lose confidence in you. The main thing is not to be afraid of such “difficult questions”.

Video materials on the topic of the article

A funny cartoon on this difficult topic:

Tips from psychologists on how to have this conversation with a child:

How to talk to a child about children:

When a teenager rebels: Who is to blame and what to do?
Parents often face protests or defiance from their children. And in adolescence, this behavior ...

Bogdanova N.V.,
child psychologist, psychoanalyst

Where the babies come from

Summer has come and our kids finally have the opportunity to play naked on the beach sand. While they are playing by the water, their bare asses exposed to the sun, but then something that has never been seen before catches their attention. A two-year-old baby looks with surprise at a naked player playing nearby, then asks her mother with concern: “Isn’t my pussy like that? When I grow up, will I have one like this? Naked, in turn, looks at the girl, experiencing something similar to a mixture of pity and superiority, he is very interested: where did the little girl manage to lose her "thing". The sight of adults sunbathing also raises many questions: “Why do uncles have so many hairs on their bodies, but aunts don’t?” But mother and other women have breasts that attract the interested glances of little boys and cause envy and anxiety in girls. And then a young woman with a huge belly was located nearby: “Why did my aunt grow such a belly? Does she eat a lot? Ah, baby. And that pot-bellied uncle over there has a baby too! Not? Why?"

To prevent a flurry of such questions from taking you by surprise, try to formulate your answers in advance, then you will not have to indulge in confusing explanations or flee. It is very important to recognize children's right to ask questions about gender differences, sexuality, and the right to receive truthful answers from their parents. It is unlikely that anyone will do it more tactfully, thinner, more reasonable than you. The child should make sure that this topic does not cause you shame, embarrassment, anger, that you do not consider him too small and unprepared to talk to him about such "adult things".

How to satisfy children's curiosity? Without going into details, but without hiding the main thing. What are the names of the sexual organs? The question, by the way, is important, because here the parental fantasy does not know how to hold back: the names of fruits and vegetables, birds, faucets, and keys are used. One of my friends explained to her daughter that she has a back and front ass.

Children really need our precise and simple explanations, because unanswered questions force the child to come up with their own explanations, which are usually far from the truth, and cause fears and fears in the child. Do not be afraid to tell the child too much, he will learn exactly as much as he is able to digest. When the baby grows up, he will turn to you for additional clarifications.

Naked babies

Babies just love to be naked, everyone knows that. One has only to look at the baby, who was freed from clothes and diapers - air baths for him are a great pleasure. The child can appear naked in front of the guests, he is not yet familiar with the feeling of shame. Up to one and a half to two years, there can be no talk of prohibitions associated with the body. But after two years, when the child's social circle expands, interest in peers appears, it's time to introduce some restrictions and rules. It is necessary to gradually, in an accessible way for the baby, explain to him that you need to close the toilet door, not walk naked in front of strangers, that is, teach him to protect his personal space and not invade the personal space of others.

For example, children often ask to go to the bathroom with their parents, not only because they do not want to be left alone in front of a closed door, but also because they feel curiosity. Such an interest is quite understandable and legitimate, since it is important for the baby to know what happens to his parents when they disappear from view. And also the child is always ready to learn something new, and you are the main role model for him. Indeed, for a small child, one of the ways to learn new things is to imitate the actions of parents. Therefore, it is imperative to satisfy the curiosity of the baby, but at the same time clearly establish the boundaries of what is permitted. This is very important, because the child will feel his boundaries only when you designate your own.

Gradually, it is necessary to teach the child to respect the personal life of his parents, to explain to him that there are moments in their lives that have nothing to do with him, but only concern mom and dad. The child should not witness the sexual relations of the parents. He is not able to understand the meaning of what is happening, these scenes can frighten him, because they are often perceived by him as violence, a struggle. If a child accidentally saw a frank erotic scene on TV, be sure to explain to him that this is how adults express their love for each other, that there is no aggression and coercion in this.

At 2-3 years old, the child begins to show an active interest in his genitals. At this age, the baby actively learns about his body, listens to the sensations that cause the touch of clothes, falls, hugs. He already knows what “prickly”, “cramped”, “hard” is, and also how pleasant touches of soft or fluffy, light tickling or gentle strokes are. The child is interested not only in his genitals, but also in the genitals of his peers and makes an interesting discovery: he learns that people are of different sexes. The little girl realizes that she doesn't have a penis and can't pee standing up like her brother. The boy compares himself with girls and his mother and thinks about whether his breasts will grow and whether he will be able to give birth to children. When telling your child about gender differences, emphasize the equal importance of the sexes so that the child does not have fantasies that he lacks something, that he has lost something. Start the conversation by saying that boys and girls are arranged differently, and emphasize that gender is given for life and boys, when they grow up, will become men like dad, and girls, women like mom. Children are quite often unsure of what gender they will be when they become adults.

You can explain to a child the structure of the genital organs of boys and girls like this: “You are a boy, you have a penis and two small balls, two testicles. When you grow up, small, tadpole-like spermatozoa will appear in them. you, when you are an adult, and your wife has children.And you are a girl, you have a vagina, uterus and ovaries.The uterus is in the tummy, it is like a sac in which the baby can grow and develop until he doesn't the time will come will come to light."

Your truthful explanations about the difference between a man and a woman may clash with the baby's own theory. For example, many boys think that girls also have a penis, only a very small one, but over time it will definitely grow. This is not surprising, children often prefer their fantasies to reality. After some time, the child will learn your explanations, it will become his own knowledge.

Delicate topic

Almost all young children masturbate, which is completely normal. Although for many people the word "masturbation" is still associated with something humiliating and shameful. The child, exploring his body, finds sensitive points that respond with pleasant sensations. Do not shame the child, do not focus on this, but be sure to explain to him that you do not need to do this in front of strangers, at the table, or somewhere else.

Where the babies come from?

By the age of 3-4, most of the children's questions relate to conception. It is important for a child to know where he came from. He understands that there was a time when he was not, and his appearance was preceded by something of which he is completely unaware. Therefore, he asks questions about his origins and about the relationship that binds his parents. "Where was I before I was born?" "Daddy is your lover?" "Where does the baby come from?"

When answering questions like this, start with a story about how you met, tell about the feelings you experienced. The concept of "love" should become central to your story. Emphasize that the child is the fruit of the love and tenderness of mom and dad. When talking about how conception occurs, you can call on images and comparisons to help, as well as use illustrations from a children's encyclopedia.

The story may be as follows: "When a man and a woman love each other, they decide to live together. They have a common home, which they equip, create comfort. Soon they begin to think about a child. You already know that a man and a woman are in different ways, and they have organs that are called genitals.They serve so that mom and dad can have a child.When a man and a woman love each other, they kiss and caress each other.This is very pleasant for them, it is pleasant. They want to conceive a child, and a fluid comes out of the father's penis, in which there are many tiny, mobile "tadpoles" - spermatozoa. This fluid enters the vagina (in the mother's small slit). In the mother's uterus, a small sack with thick walls, there is a round " cell "- egg. When one of the small "tadpoles" meets with the "cell" of the mother, they merge, and a very small baby appears from them, which grows in the mother's stomach for nine months. cozy and safe. When the baby is ready to be born, it comes out through the gap in the mother's body, which at this time becomes wider so that he can pass through it.

Such explanations are quite accessible to the understanding of the child, and for quite a long time his interest and curiosity will be satisfied. If, for any reason, you feel that the time or place is inappropriate for talking about sex life, you have the right to postpone the explanation, telling the child that you need time to think and choose a more appropriate moment. But do not shy away from the conversation, because then your baby may think that for some reason it is not good to be interested in sexual matters. If you feel uncomfortable, invite your child to look together at an illustrated children's encyclopedia on these issues.

Will we get married when I grow up?

At the age of 3 years, children enter the genital phase of psycho-sexual development, and they form the so-called "Oedipus complex". The Oedipal phase usually lasts from 3 to 6 years of age. Every person in his development goes through this phase. Schematically, it looks like this: the child begins to compete with the parent of the same sex, sees him as a rival and dreams of marrying the parent of the opposite sex. During this period, the child feels some hostility towards the parent of the same sex and at the same time blames himself for this, because he loves both parents. You need to explain to the child that he cannot marry one of the parents and draw his attention to peers of the opposite sex, saying that when you grow up, you will love someone your own age, you can get married and have children. The meaning of this period: the child learns to build more mature relationships both in the family and outside it, learns to interact with both parents. How ready you are to help your child go through this stage of development will largely depend on his future relationship with the opposite sex and the choice of a partner.

7 mistakes to avoid:

1. Refusal to answer.

Even if the questions of the baby confuse you, you should not evade the answer. Take a time out, think over your explanations, consult a psychologist or purchase a children's encyclopedia of relevant topics. The child should not feel guilty and abandoned, left alone with his questions. His curiosity is completely natural and is associated with development, the need to know the world and himself in this world.

2. Read articles from a medical encyclopedia to your child.

Do not bombard the child with scientific terms and present the whole process as purely mechanical. In medical reference books there is not a word about feelings, desires, emotions, pleasure. Children do not expect such exhaustive, dry and complex explanations from you at all. The child needs to receive an answer in a simple and accessible form, formulated specifically for him, to hear your words, and not an impersonal text.

3. The child is enlightened by the parent of the opposite sex.

When a child asks questions about sex life, it is best if they are answered by a parent of the same gender. If this is not possible, it may be some kind of confidant of his gender. Why? When a child begins to realize his gender, then, as a rule, girls identify themselves with their mother, and boys with their father. This mechanism helps children in the future to correctly position themselves in society as a man or woman. And it will be much more convenient for a child, especially when he gets older, to turn to a parent of the same sex with intimate questions.

4. Do not explain anything if the child does not ask questions.

A child may not talk about a sexual topic, not because he is not interested. On the contrary, his interest may be too strong and disturbing, he may feel embarrassed, which prevents him from asking questions that concern him. Often the child does not ask questions when he feels the reluctance of adults to talk to him on such serious topics. It is important to remember that a child aged 3-5 needs to be talked to about life, love and death.

5. Forcing events.

It is undesirable to tell the child about what he is not yet ready to perceive and understand. Until the age of two, you do not need to start talking about your sex life. This is the age for other questions, because the child is just beginning to navigate the world and human relationships.

6. Touch too complex and serious topics.

Talking about the birth of a child, you should not describe the details and talk about the pain and difficulties associated with childbirth. There is no need to explain to the child what a caesarean section is. Also, you do not need to delve into what is associated with sexual intercourse: erection, postures, etc. It will be enough for your child to know that he was born because mom and dad fell in love, and that the doctor helped mom during childbirth.

7. Avoiding topics of sexual violence.

It is absolutely necessary to warn the child about possible dangers, of course, without terrible details and intimidation. The child should know that you can not go anywhere with strangers, even if they are affectionate with him and offer sweets. Be sure to tell the baby that his body belongs only to him and no one has the right to touch him. Tell the child that if someone touched him, it should not be a secret, you must definitely tell your parents about it.

Usually, interest in the history of their appearance in children appears at the age of "why-why", that is, about 3-4 years. Until this age, even looking at their baby photos, the child usually does not ask the question “Where did I come from?”. This interest is completely normal, but for a long time this topic was hushed up, and the well-known clichés were “shrugged off” from children: “found in cabbage”, “brought a stork”.

Modern psychologists argue that fictional stories about the appearance of a child in a family ( “found in cabbage”, “brought a stork”) greatly undermine the baby's trust in parents, because someday the child will still find out the truth and will be upset by parental cunning.

When explaining to a child where babies come from, you need to speak truthfully, but this truth must be adapted to the age of an inquisitive little man. The older the child, the more questions about "this" he has. Parents should prepare for such questions in advance so that they do not take mom or dad by surprise and do not make the child doubt the sincerity of adults.

How to talk to a child 3-4 years old

At the age of about 3 years, the child begins to feel like a person and for the first time identifies himself with representatives of one of the sexes - boys or girls. In this regard, there is an interest in the structure of the body, and children notice not only the differences between boys and girls, but also pay attention to the features of the body of adults. In this regard, questions regarding the purpose of the genital organs, their differences (if, for example, a child on the beach saw a baby of the opposite sex) can become harbingers of questions about childbearing. A meeting with a pregnant woman can give rise to many questions, because a belly of outstanding size will not go unnoticed. Even more often, conversations about the birth begin after the baby happens to see or get to know the baby closely. Some children may ask a direct question, “Where did I come from?”. No matter where the “wind” of children’s interest “blows”, the task of parents is to honestly and easily answer the child.

How to talk to a teenager 11-16 years old

Maintaining a trusting relationship with a teenager is a whole art, because at this age the authority of adults is depreciated. However, without trust, conversations on a delicate topic are impossible.

Teenagers are actively interested in the opposite sex, fall in love, meet. In some ways, they are still children, but physiologically they are already ready to lead an “adult” life. That is why in the first place there should be talk not about hygiene or body changes, but about family planning, conception, pregnancy, contraception.

As in matters of preparation for growing up, in conversations with adolescents, a free atmosphere, a state of dialogue, and not “dry” lectures, is important. It is better to talk “about it” on an equal footing, like an adult with an adult, calling a spade a spade and talking about real dangers. Speaking about relationships with the opposite sex and the possibility of having a child, it is important to emphasize that a child is, first of all, a great responsibility, therefore it is better if he is born consciously, in marriage, when both are ready to create a family and share responsibility .

Parents of teenagers are always anxious: what if the child starts sexual activity early? Suddenly there will be an unwanted pregnancy or infection? Unfortunately, in some families, sexual education of a child comes down to “if I find out, I will kill”. To even greater regret, in this situation, parents have every chance of simply not knowing. That is why if a child shares something personal, you should not criticize, scold, condemn him.

The older the child, the more difficult questions are born in his head. For each of them, he wants to get an answer, and if not in the family, then on the street or on the Internet, these answers will be found. If for some reason the child does not ask questions and does not show interest in a sensitive topic, parents should take the initiative in their own hands and start conversations first. The better the child is “armed” with information, the more he will be ready for adulthood.

We also read:

Book selection

1. Dumont Virginie. Where did I come from? Sexual encyclopedia for children 5-8 years old
2. Virginie D., Montagna C. Where do babies come from? Sexual encyclopedia for children 8-11 years old
3. How I Came into the World, Katerina Janusz, Mervi Lindman. Age: 4-6 years old
4. "Where Do Babies Come From?" by Doris Ruebel. Age: 4-7 years old
5. "The Book of Love" by Pernilla Stalfelt. Age: from 4 years old
6. "The main wonder of the world", Georgy Yudin. Age: 6-10 years old
7. "Before You Were Born", Jennifer Davis, Laura Cornell. Age: 2-4 years
8. "The True Story of How A Baby Is Made" by Per Holm Knudsen. Age: 3-5 years old
9. "A Kid's First Book About Sex" by Joanie Blank. Age: 7-11 years old
10. "Mommy Laid an Egg: or, Where Do Babies Come From?" by Babette Cole. Age: 3-5 years old
11. "Where Did I Come From?" by Peter Mail. Age: 7-10 years old

HOW TO TELL A CHILD WHERE CHILDREN COME FROM?

For a small child, parents know and can do everything. Therefore, with all questions, he goes, of course, to them. And this is very good, try to keep it that way always. So with the question of his birth, the child goes to his parents. A simple childish question can puzzle parents. How to tell a child where babies come from?

No taboo

The first thing to do is to remove the taboo from the topic. This is what child psychologists say. The child has the right to ask such tricky questions. In some families, parents dodge or strictly forbid talking about these topics. The child is forced to look for answers to his questions from others.

The baby begins to notice the differences between the sexes at about three years of age. He becomes interested in the difference between boys and girls, uncles and aunts. At this age, the child may also be interested in the issue of having children, he begins to pester parents with “uncomfortable” questions, and you will face the problem of how to tell the baby where children come from.

How and what to say

It is necessary to talk about the differences between the sexes, about the conception and birth of a child in a language accessible to the child, without overloading it with unnecessary details.

For a kid under five years old, the answer is enough that the child grows in his mother's tummy.
Getting older, the child, of course, will be interested in how mysteriously he ended up in his mother's tummy. Now you can tell that dad gives mom a seed from which a child grows.

Answers should be understandable to the child and truthful. Prepare in advance for this conversation.

Now on sale there are picture books in which, in an accessible and understandable form, they tell the child how children are born. If you can’t find the words and answer the child’s questions in any way, then buy such a book. Be sure to read it with your child so that you can clearly answer all the questions.

By adolescence, the child should know the anatomical and physiological features of the difference between the sexes and the birth of children.

7 mistakes to avoid

1. Refusal to answer.

Even if the questions of the baby confuse you, you should not evade the answer. Take a time out, think over your explanations, consult a psychologist or purchase a children's encyclopedia of relevant topics. The child should not feel guilty and abandoned, left alone with his questions. His curiosity is completely natural and is associated with development, the need to know the world and himself in this world.

Do not bombard the child with scientific terms and present the whole process as purely mechanical. In medical reference books there is not a word about feelings, desires, emotions, pleasure. Children do not expect such exhaustive, dry and complex explanations from you at all. The child needs to receive an answer in a simple and accessible form, formulated specifically for him, to hear your words, and not an impersonal text.

3. The child is enlightened by the parent of the opposite sex.

When a child asks questions about sex life, it is best if they are answered by a parent of the same sex. If this is not possible, it may be some kind of confidant of his gender.

Why? When a child begins to realize his gender, then, as a rule, girls identify themselves with their mother, and boys with their father. This mechanism helps children in the future to correctly position themselves in society as a man or woman. And it will be much more convenient for a child, especially when he gets older, to turn to a parent of the same sex with intimate questions.

4. Do not explain anything if the child does not ask questions.

A child may not talk about a sexual topic, not because he is not interested. On the contrary, his interest may be too strong and disturbing, he may feel embarrassed, which prevents him from asking questions that concern him.

Often the child does not ask questions when he feels the reluctance of adults to talk to him on such serious topics. It is important to remember that a child aged 3-5 needs to be talked to about life, love and death.

5. Forcing events.

It is undesirable to tell the child about what he is not yet ready to perceive and understand. Until the age of two, you do not need to start talking about your sex life. This is the age for other questions, because the child is just beginning to navigate the world and human relationships.

6. Touch too complex and serious topics.

Talking about the birth of a child, you should not describe the details and talk about the pain and difficulties associated with childbirth. There is no need to explain to the child what a caesarean section is. Also, you do not need to delve into what is associated with sexual intercourse: erection, postures, etc. It will be enough for your child to know that he was born because mom and dad fell in love, and that the doctor helped mom during childbirth.

7. Avoiding topics of sexual violence.

It is absolutely necessary to warn the child about possible dangers, of course, without terrible details and intimidation. The child should know that you can not go anywhere with strangers, even if they are affectionate with him and offer sweets. Be sure to tell the baby that his body belongs only to him and no one has the right to touch him.

Tell the child that if someone touched him, it should not be a secret, you must definitely tell your parents about it. Remember that with all questions the child should go to you and if you forbid him or not to answer, he will lose confidence in you. The main thing is not to be afraid of such “difficult questions”.

Usually, interest in the history of their appearance in children appears at the age of "why-why", that is, about 3-4 years. Until this age, even looking at their baby photos, the child usually does not ask the question “Where did I come from?”. This interest is completely normal, but for a long time this topic was hushed up, and the well-known clichés were “shrugged off” from children: “found in cabbage”, “brought a stork”.

Modern psychologists say that fictional stories about the appearance of a child in a family (“found in cabbage”, “brought by a stork”) greatly undermine the baby’s trust in parents, because someday the child will still find out the truth and will be upset by parental cunning.

When explaining to a child where babies come from, you need to speak truthfully, but this truth must be adapted to the age of an inquisitive little man. The older the child, the more questions about "this" he has. Parents should prepare for such questions in advance so that they do not take mom or dad by surprise and do not make the child doubt the sincerity of adults.

How to talk to a child 3-4 years old

At the age of about 3 years, the child begins to feel like a person and for the first time identifies himself with representatives of one of the sexes - boys or girls. In this regard, there is an interest in the structure of the body, and children notice not only the differences between boys and girls, but also pay attention to the features of the body of adults. In this regard, questions regarding the purpose of the genital organs, their differences (if, for example, a child on the beach saw a baby of the opposite sex) can become harbingers of questions about childbearing. A meeting with a pregnant woman can give rise to many questions, because a belly of outstanding size will not go unnoticed. Even more often, conversations about the birth begin after the baby happens to see or get to know the baby closely. Some children may ask a direct question, “Where did I come from?”. No matter where the “wind” of children’s interest “blows”, the task of parents is to honestly and easily answer the child.

At 3-4 years old, you don’t need to go into physiological mechanisms conception, gestation and childbirth. You can limit yourself to a story about how dad and mom love each other very much and really wanted a baby. As a token of his love, dad gave mom a magic seed that she carried in her tummy. The seed grew, and with it, my mother's tummy. From this seed in the tummy grew a baby. When it became crowded in his house, he asked for the light and was born. Together with the story, you can show the child photos from the family album, because many couples make a memorable photo shoot while waiting for the baby.

When talking with the baby about his birth, it is important to emphasize that the baby was very much expected, and that he was born as a result of great love.

We talk with a child 5-7 years old

In older preschool age, the old explanations cease to satisfy the baby. The child grows up, it begins to think more difficult, acquires a certain life experience, and he is already beginning to be interested in how the seed got into his mother's stomach, how the child appeared from there, and other things. In terms of psychological development the age of 5-7 years is the time when the child masters the world of relationships and feelings, in this regard, at this age, for the first time, he discovers the world of adult relationships, including intimate ones, because it is not always possible to completely protect the child from explicit scenes on the Internet or on TV.

By and large, at the age of 5-7 years, parents will have to talk with their child about sex for the first time. You need to talk about this topic in this way: sex is normal and natural, but only adults do it. That is, on the one hand, it is important not to form a taboo on this topic in the children's minds, and on the other hand, to make it clear that intimate relationships are the prerogative of adults, they are not brought up for general discussion and are not advertised.

You can tell that when people love each other, they like to be together, touch each other, hug, kiss. It is in the process of such caresses that pregnancy occurs. It is also not worth talking in detail about the process of childbirth. We can say that the child is born in the hospital, with the help of doctors.

Considering how many children in the modern world become victims of pedophiles, it is worth saying to the child separately that only adult men and women make love. Therefore, if one of the adults offers him to undress or asks him to touch him in intimate places, the child must immediately run away and be sure to tell his parents.

App for iPad

There is a special application for the iPad that allows parents to explain to the child where babies come from. With the help of the application, you can simply and easily answer the child's questions of interest.

(clickable) Developer Studiya 158 OOO Link

Conversation "about it" with a schoolboy 7-10 years old

We're talking about preteens. Today they are still children, but they are about to begin to turn from boys and girls into girls and young men. As a rule, at this age, children are already quite knowledgeable about sex and childbearing, but this knowledge is often very distorted.

The main task of parents during this period is to prepare their growing children for growing up and the changes that will occur to them in the near future. Girls should definitely be told about menstruation, the appearance of pubic and armpit hair, and breast growth. For boys - about changing the proportions of the figure, nocturnal emissions, “breaking” of the voice and the appearance of facial hair. It is better to talk with a child to a parent of the same sex, that is, mothers - with girls, fathers - with boys.

For parents, these conversations can be problematic. Often, moms and dads are more embarrassed than children to talk about these topics. Perhaps it would be best if informing the child would take place as if in between. You should not solemnly announce: “I need to talk to you”, seat the child in front of you and give a boring lecture. From time to time, under various pretexts, you can start conversations, talk about your experience of growing up, ask about friends and girlfriends. It is also not worth overloading the child with information and complex terms, it is better to give it out in doses, give the child time to comprehend and, possibly, formulate his questions.

A convenient option for parents is an encyclopedia: they gave it to them and let them read it. Still, it’s better not to let the process take its course and, if not to tell, then at least discuss what you read with the child.

How to talk to a teenager 11-16 years old

Maintaining a trusting relationship with a teenager is a whole art, because at this age the authority of adults is depreciated. However, without trust, conversations on a delicate topic are impossible.

Teenagers are actively interested in the opposite sex, fall in love, meet. In some ways, they are still children, but physiologically they are already ready to lead an “adult” life. That is why in the first place there should be talk not about hygiene or body changes, but about family planning, conception, pregnancy, contraception.

As in matters of preparation for growing up, in conversations with adolescents, a free atmosphere, a state of dialogue, and not “dry” lectures, is important. It is better to talk “about it” on an equal footing, like an adult with an adult, calling a spade a spade and talking about real dangers. Speaking about relationships with the opposite sex and the possibility of having a child, it is important to emphasize that a child is, first of all, a great responsibility, therefore it is better if he is born consciously, in marriage, when both are ready to create a family and share responsibility .

Parents of teenagers are always anxious: what if the child starts sexual activity early? Suddenly there will be an unwanted pregnancy or infection? Unfortunately, in some families, sexual education of a child comes down to “if I find out, I will kill”. To even greater regret, in this situation, parents have every chance of simply not knowing. That is why if a child shares something personal, you should not criticize, scold, condemn him.

The older the child, the more difficult questions are born in his head. For each of them, he wants to get an answer, and if not in the family, then on the street or on the Internet, these answers will be found. If for some reason the child does not ask questions and does not show interest in a sensitive topic, parents should take the initiative in their own hands and start conversations first. The better the child is "armed" with information, the more he will be ready for adulthood.

We also read:

• Top 10 kids questions that baffle parents (and how to answer them). Part 1
• The child caught you in the bedroom doing an "interesting activity." What to do and how to find the right words?
• Awkward questions of children - how to answer?
• The age of “Why” or 100 thousand “Why ..? And why..?"

Book selection

1. Dumont Virginie. Where did I come from? Sexual encyclopedia for children 5-8 years old
2. Virginie D., Montagna C. Where do babies come from? Sexual encyclopedia for children 8-11 years old
3. How I Came into the World, Katerina Janusz, Mervi Lindman. Age: 4-6 years old
4. "Where Do Babies Come From?" by Doris Ruebel. Age: 4-7 years old
5. "The Book of Love" by Pernilla Stalfelt. Age: from 4 years old
6. "The main wonder of the world", Georgy Yudin. Age: 6-10 years old
7. "Before You Were Born", Jennifer Davis, Laura Cornell. Age: 2-4 years
8. "The True Story of How A Baby Is Made" by Per Holm Knudsen. Age: 3-5 years old
9. "A Kid's First Book About Sex" by Joanie Blank. Age: 7-11 years old
10. "Mommy Laid an Egg: or, Where Do Babies Come From?" by Babette Cole. Age: 3-5 years old
11. "Where Did I Come From?" by Peter Mail. Age: 7-10 years old

Where the babies come from?

Children want to know everything in the world:

• Where the babies come from?
• How are boys and girls different?
• What is the baby doing in the mother's belly?
• What happens during childbirth?

More about the book

Video consultation

Voiced book for iPad

This is a voiced children's book created for the Kinderbook iPad app. In a language accessible to children and in a playful way, the authors describe the technical details of the relationship between a man and a woman, as a result of which children appear.

Educational cartoon where babies come from

If you do not want to talk about cabbage and storks, this educational cartoon will tell you about the inner world of a person. Simple and accessible, the child learns how it is born new life why children look like their parents, and even a little about DNA and RNA.

The little man grows and learns the world with interest. Parents hear from him a thousand questions and are very happy with his curiosity. Until one day this very question is asked: “Where do babies come from?”

You can think of yourself as a progressive adult, but this question from your child is likely to get you thinking. What to answer? How to say? And is it necessary at all?

Modern psychologists and teachers have developed a unanimous opinion on this matter - it is necessary to tell. And not about storks, but about what really is. The kid should receive from his parents true information about the world, about how he was born, and about sex, including.

When to start talking about this topic?

When should you start talking to your child about sex education? In fact, the answer to this question is extremely simple - when he asks about it. Only you need to submit information exactly at the level at which your son or daughter is ready to perceive it.

So, a very small baby can be told that in the tummy of the mother there is a special cell that connects with the father. There is no need to use special terms and disclose details.

Around the age of 3, children begin to learn about their belonging to a particular gender. Approximately at this age, the first questions “about this” appear. Although, most likely, it seems to parents that there is something indecent in the question, but the child simply learns the world.

But if you begin to evade an answer or express some strong emotions, then the topic will become painful and causing excessive interest.

Why is talking to parents so important?

It does not happen that a child before adolescence remains aloof from knowledge about this part of "adult" life. Information, especially in our time, is fed from all sides.

Do you want your baby to learn about the mystery of love, about the birth of children from children in the yard or from a computer screen?

In order for a person's sexual life to develop successfully, it is important that he develops a correct, adequate attitude towards questions of sex and sexual relations. It is in your hands to give your son or daughter weighted, correct answers.

In addition, are you afraid that the child may simply receive incorrect information? How many unwanted pregnancies have been led to by the youthful legend that “you won’t get pregnant the first time”! So it's better to talk about everything in time.

It is not necessary to forcefully convey information, but if the baby has grown to grade 1, and the question “Where did I come from?” has not yet been voiced, it is better to take the initiative in your own hands. Maybe he's shy. Or have already received information from other sources. It is better to talk - perhaps something will have to be corrected.

How to present information at different ages?

While it's never too early to talk about gender issues, it's important that the conversation is in a way that's appropriate for your child's age.

For very little kids

To young children, everything can be told in a simplified way and with a minimum of details. The baby will grow up, and his knowledge in this area will grow and expand.

Tip: Never forget about the joke in which the mother told what an abortion is, and the daughter meant the phrase from the song "... and they beat against the side of the ship." Sometimes a banana is just a banana.

At three or four years

If a three-year-old child asks you how he came into the world, answer only the question posed. No need for sex and other joys.

Variations of the answer will tell that in the mother's stomach a small baby is waiting for a meeting with the family, and then, when he grows up, he comes out into the light through a special door. For children 3-4 years old, this is quite enough.

Preschoolers

At 6 years old, kids begin to ask not only where babies come from, but also how they get there. This is where most parents start to stutter. And in vain. Tell it like it is. But at the level of a six-year-old.

Something about when mom and dad love each other, they hug and kiss, and dad's cell connects with mom's. And further in the text - that a baby is growing in the mother's tummy.

For younger students

The next round of questions arises, as a rule, a little later - at the age of 8-9. It is no longer so easy to explain to a child where children come from, because a deeper disclosure of the topic is extremely embarrassing for parents.

If earlier the issues of physiology and the difference between a man and a woman were not discussed, now is the time. At this age, it is easier to talk using medical terms: vagina, penis. By the way, this approach is often more convenient for adults as well, as the topic moves into a scientific direction.

"Big conversation" at this age is convenient to combine with viewing children's encyclopedias with images of a person's device or specialized books for children on this topic.

Such children's books can be of great service to mothers and fathers, as they describe complex issues just in line with childhood.

Another rule: Do not go into unnecessary details. The child does not yet perceive the entire system as a whole. It builds its knowledge base by analogy with a tree. Each new information becomes another branch of the "tree of knowledge".

Excessive information will confuse the baby and may even scare him. Make it a rule to answer only a specific question. As a rule, the portion of information received by the child requires reflection. A little later he will come for the next answer.

Teenagers

The next important moment is adolescence. Physiological changes occurring in the body can cause psychological stress. Therefore, children need to be told in advance about what is happening to them.

Be sure to talk about menstruation and wet dreams. Think about it, maybe it makes sense to describe the changes in the girl's body to the son, and tell the daughter about what is happening with the young men, so that they get the right impression of their growing up peers.

From here, the conversation can smoothly move on to the topic of where children come from. Now that we have figured out why a boy needs a penis, it is easy to understand how spermatozoa get into the female uterus.

Should you talk to teenagers about sex?

Of course yes. However, there is a very thin line here, violating which, you can lose the trust of your son or daughter. If they open up to you for a conversation, try to avoid lectures and swearing.

Relations with the opposite sex is a delicate topic, try to keep in touch with your child.

Interest in information about sex does not mean at all that a teenager will rush to engage in it. On the contrary, forewarned is forearmed. Tell us about the need for protection from pregnancy and disease, that the best option at this age is condoms.

And don't forget to remember love. Sex - supreme manifestation feelings, not a way to satisfy your curiosity or give in to a partner.

How to find the right words?

If you find it difficult to find words, try to find suitable literature. Now you can find excellent books written for both young children and schoolchildren, telling “about this” in detail, but according to age.

The most important thing, educators and psychologists say, is to immediately call a spade a spade. When naming parts of the body, do not invent “faucets” and other allegories. The child treats his genitals in the same way as he treats his arm or leg. Don't be embarrassed either.

Talking about the appearance of children, focus on love and relationships. Indeed, it is precisely because mom and dad love each other that they have children.

Let your story look something like this:

“Loving people begin to live together. They have their own house, they do everything together. They love hugging and kissing. After living together for a while, they may want to have a child.

You already know that men and women are wired differently. This is specifically designed so that they can have children. Dad's penis gives mom a small cell. Having united with mother's, this cell performs real miracles. She makes a real baby.

True, at first he is very small, and lives in his mother's belly until he grows up and gains strength. Then he comes out into the light through the hole in his mother's body.

Of course, when the child gets older, the story will begin to acquire details. Remember - you do not need to run ahead of the locomotive.

How not to make mistakes?

Don't brush it off

If you don't know how to say it or feel shy, promise to think it over and continue the conversation later. But don't delay too long. If they promised “after dinner” and the child does not ask, remind yourself.

Do not lie

The story of the cabbage and the stork will not help your child. It is important for him to know that he was born exactly with you.

Don't forget to talk about love

It is very important to convey to the child that this is the main component of the relationship. It also greatly simplifies your answer: "Mom and dad love each other, hug, kiss and have children."

Keep it simple

Do not send your child to the medical encyclopedia. If you need help, find an age-appropriate book.

For young children, wonderful books like Where Did I Come From? are written, for graduates of school, the Sexual Encyclopedia for Teens is more suitable. These books always indicate the recommended age of children.

If possible, do not refer to a parent of the opposite sex

It is important for children to talk about such topics with a loved one of the same gender as them. It is easier for a girl to come for advice to her mother, and for a boy - to her father.

If you have an incomplete family, it is possible that one of the relatives or close acquaintances can talk to the child. If there is no such person, do not be afraid. Dad can also explain to the girl about menarche or pregnancy, and mom can talk to her son about the first sex.

The hardest thing to do is start a conversation like that. It may be worth first offering the child one of the books suggested above or discussing the movie they have watched.

Don't overload with unnecessary information

Tell us where babies come from, but don't talk about painful births or complications just yet. Everything has its time. As the baby grows up, the information, of course, will expand, but it’s not worth dumping too much at once.

For example, if the question of pain still arises, we can say that doctors help the woman and the child. He makes sure that everything is fine with mom and baby. And despite the pain, the birth of a child is a great joy and happiness.

Don't Avoid Violent Topics

From early childhood, your son or daughter should know that no one has the right to touch them without their consent. Lay the foundations of security now. There is no need to scare children with scary stories, but it is imperative to tell them that there are things that cannot be done.

Do not make a cult out of the topic of sexual relations

Stick to the golden mean. It is necessary to tell a child where children come from, but it is not worth imposing information about the technique of sex.

Be not only a parent, but also a friend

Try to be your baby's friend. If he is not afraid and not shy of you, you will be able to discuss any issues.

From a certain age, children always begin to wonder how they were born, ask questions about birth, and if parents are waiting for replenishment, then these questions will definitely not be avoided. How do you tell a child where babies come from? And is it worth inventing fairy tales about storks and cabbages?

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We offer parents a selection of 12 films and books on the topic “where do children come from”, which will become your assistant in a difficult dialogue with the “why-why” baby!

How I Was Born Books

Age: 4-6 years old

The author of the book - Katerina Janusz - has 5 children, whose questions often baffled her. It was for them that she created her book “How I Came into the World”, which became popular due to the writer’s experience in the psychology of family relationships.

The author not only tells children in an accessible language about the physiological aspect of birth, but also about the psychological, and sometimes even philosophical. For example, the role of the father and the emergence of new responsibilities after the birth of a child are examined in detail, and the topic of artificial insemination is also touched upon.

The illustrations in the publication are funny and caricatured, but not frank.

"Where the babies come from?"

Age: 4-7 years old

This book is ideal for those parents who are waiting for replenishment in the family, and want to explain to their older child why mom's tummy is growing. The book covers in detail all the topics that answer the awkward questions of the baby.

A lot of material in the book is devoted specifically to the first months of a baby's life in the womb: what the ultrasound machine does, what the baby is doing in the stomach. In addition, the older child learns from the book several simple rules etiquette, such as not entering your parents' bedroom without knocking, especially if it's closed.

The illustrations are designed very well: you can open various windows, including slightly open the belly and see the baby in the womb or find out how the internal structure of a woman and a man differ.

“Where did I come from? Sexual encyclopedia for children "

Age: 5-8 years old

In this book, the author explains the stages of sexual development to the child in an accessible language, talks about the process of conception and a little about how little child lives in the mother's stomach. Also, Virginia Dumont does not miss psychological topics, for example, about jealousy for a newborn baby and the difficulties of growing up.

The book also contains some interesting facts about where the stories about storks and cabbage come from, as well as what traditional images related to this topic exist in other countries: children are found in trees, in wells, brought in boxes.

"Book of Love"

Age: 4-6 years old

The Swedish writer first of all tells the little reader about love and about the feelings that it causes in the body. Psychological moments are also touched upon, for example, that from love you can not only be happy, but it also happens to cry. There is also a section on the conception of a baby, which, by the way, is accompanied by very frank drawings of an unusual style.

This book is quite scandalous and not every parent will want to read it to their baby. The illustrations, like the text, are quite specific here, for example, love is also described in same-sex marriages.

"Where did I come from?"

Age: 4-5 years

British author Peter Mayle wrote this book back in 1973, and since then it has been successfully published around the world with minor cuts. Before starting work, the writer talked to many children and heard a lot of stories about how they were found in a bar near a mug of beer, a cat brought them, or Santa Claus put them under the Christmas tree.

In the book, Mail tells children about the difference between the body of a woman and a man, as well as about the features of their love. The theme of the emergence of feelings and other psychological aspects is not affected. It is expected that the parent will tell the child about it himself.

"Where the babies come from?"

Age: 5-7 years

The author of the book is a medical doctor who, in collaboration with a children's artist, created a comic book that will explain to children the complex processes of the birth of a child. It is interesting that both parents are involved in the book: the mother tells her daughter about the girl's questions, and the father answers the son's questions.

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"The Greatest Wonder of the World"

Age: 4-6 years old

The special difference between this book and the works of Western authors is that there is no naturalistic illustrations that so frighten many parents.

Yudin wrote this encyclopedia in the form of a dialogue between father and son, which deals with the love of parents, conception and the birth of a child.

Only one chapter is devoted to this topic in the book - the first, the remaining chapters will show the child the structure of his body and the complex processes that underlie it.

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cartoons

1. In this short video, a mother psychologist will tell parents the main points to follow when telling a child the story of his birth.